Fey boy seeks slim similar, 18-24. If tambourines, whey-hued shy faces and sighs are your bag, then sing me a plaint, a plaintive roundelay. Be my gamine troubadour in tattered denims. Roibyn Waters "The Lacrymose Lutist". (I am aye to be found in song on the lawn of The Sleeping Unicorn.)
Goatherd seeks unwashed fat lady for days of sweat and nights of muffled roaring. I have own whitewashed hut and horrible bald dog. My trousers are themselves a garden. Must be ready to know eels and milk a wrinkled horse. Yannis Kourtakis, Box 456354, Straddle Farm, Denbighshire.
Wandsworth's Rubber Fishes: realistically-textured life-size rubber replicas of sea denizens. Ideal for an unusual cot- or bedroom-effect. Try to find baby amid a palpitating tangle of tendrils, fins and unblinking eyes! Have an octopus in the wardrobe; a bedroom carpet is transformed into an icy deep Atlantic or North Sea scene, with silver salmon, fat cod and haddock or skeins of mysterious eels migrating from the Sargasso! Surprise an elderly person with a lifelike Conger Eel in the bathwater! From Saltiss, Ulliol, Canal View, Throsk: the makers of Wobbling Giblets & Bouncy Tripes (still Britain's best-selling replica innard toy).
Damsel seeks distress. O where is my plight? And where my strong Knight?
Let me not pine away my time, let not my life be wasted in fruitless yearnings. O armoured he-man, sever my bonds and heave me off. I long to yield to thy lusty thews and sullen limbs, I, the hapless slave-girl, oh! Lord Justice Hangglider-Plinth, The Mews, Hornblower Rise, Portsmouth.
Man in a Suitcase seeks baggage-handler or Customs Officer for adult hide-and-seek, exposure and punishment role-play. Discover me and my secreted contraband. Elwynn Frangible, Fewsbury-Whesk, Litton.
A Thing For Corduroy; A Passion For Batik: I'm dreaming of you, with you, already. We shall clothe one another as the black swans drift and the elms bend and bleed. Hilay holay I and my gentlehomme lie all a Downs day! Elka Tosse-Lanterne, Mulmers Lock, Barbary Qualms, Thuntock Downs, East Woofing (I have begun the Sequinned Tapestry alone: will it be fulfilled in a snuggling pair?).
The Echo Cosmos: scale models of the Universe in easy-to-assemble pieces hand-fashioned in wood from sustainable forests; also The Divine Torus: 3-D tapestry of the All with organic scaffolding that melts upon completion of model. Made out of Dak fibres from our Cooperatives in Sarawak. The ultimate creative toy. Your child is One with All. The Light Within Spiritual Toys & Games. Zoroaster & Mooncalf are here in light at the Celestial Pagoda, 277a Obsidian Way, Pingo, Wakefield email drongba@lionmandala.net
Pot-Bellied ex-Chandler, uni-testicular, smooth-nosed, twin-bearded, lives in secluded windmill with dementing Uncle and gangrenous Tropical Pike ("Ulric"). Will listen to any and all offers from virgin males with concave chests and stooping. Widow's Peak? Yes, this is my goal. I am looking forward to our exchange. Our kitchen has a disembowelled inner wall and collapsed ceiling. We need a gentle stooping virgin. Tom Stilth, Box 4A3.
Helena Miltworthy, - I am an experienced Ginger Clowness, also obsessed with the Unicycle and Lesser Facial Features (eg, napes, nose troughs, forehead-nose concavities, etc). Seeking a Man for those Special Tuesdays when the afternoon grey daylight begins to shudder and trees approach shouldering. Calligraphic quilled letters only to Box 76201834578098355424567100934856432910.
Unique Boy seeks similar. Call Sandy on 08873 0098700. PLEASE.
Ex-Muleskinner seeks saliva-freak to share a pipe or a plug o' Fargo's Twist; has own set of Arkansas Chaps and ma Grandaddy's spittoon. "Show us yer teeth, Spanish Joe!" Box A3.
Chumnolseleigh Mill Retreats with Ptolemy and Rebekah Tuche; learn the ancient crafts of Porthmadog Sow's-Milk Cheesing and Clun Devil-Basketry (as mentioned in "The Engwyndiodd" of Thundy). New in Winter 2004-5! - Reiki & Rebirthing Retreats with Esa-Pekka Rarassour and Jukka-Pekka Tharastre; also, depending upon demand, we may be able to offer our Winter Woodland Workshops in Hendy's Wood (last year's Mystical Garnering with Roy Prandial offered a happy discipleship the opportunity to express themselves on tingshaw, balaphone, Nepalese flute, and shamanic Na drum and dhyangro).
Shall I oil my sub-navel folds? Will I, come midnight, withdraw my anointed foreskins? Which breast shall feel the rusty compass point? Make me decide. Email me at subpostman123@danklinoleumboys.co.uk or write to Harkin "subpostman" Maundering, Threnody House, Lower Shuddering, Hints.
Weekends at sea on the SS Sincerely with a crew who all look like Hughie Green? You know you want to! email Jonty at tomsktomsktomsk@bullsmilkagogothong.co.uk
